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Modern Leadership

My undead army has become so much harder to manage ever since we found that teleportation circle that brought us straight to the 21st century. As an all-powerful arch lich, I should be able to control my undead servants without issue, but they have become quite unruly since learning about fair work and employee rights. …

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Boxing Teacher Opportunity

I have been boxing for quite a while now. In the beginning, it was such a huge thrill, throwing punch after brutal punch at my opponent. I even enjoyed getting knocked down (and getting back up again), going home sore all over, trying to learn from my mistakes. If I’m being honest, though, I don’t …

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Growing a bunion

Feet are already ugly but they can be made more ugly when you grow a bunion. I’ve noticed this is something that women tend to develop with age but I started growing one prematurely on my right foot. I noticed this about four years ago when I had dropped something heavy on my big toe. …

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One Hundred Boats

“What could go wrong?” These were the last words written on the blog of an internationally famous madman, Sam Samson. Mr Samson gained fame when he infamously combined two boats together, creating the world’s first “Superboat”. If only it had stopped there. According to Mr Samson’s blog, he had the idea to add a third …

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Hardware Store Disaster

This just in, a greatly beloved hardware store in Cheltenham has been destroyed, after a chaotic string of events which began when the manager fell off his chair. This is Chuck Fiddlesticks, reporting not-live for Channel 17. We spoke with store manager, Andrew McMillon, who had the following to say. “I don’t really understand how …

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Rusty Aluminium Windows

I’ve been at home sick for the last week and I’ve begun to notice things about my home that I dislike. I’m a busy body, so I never really spend that much time at home. I work five days a week and then see different friends every day after work, which leaves me with very …

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Loving the Band

Did Darren say anything about splitting up the band? Because he definitely should not have said anything about that. We swore that we would talk about it and not make anything public until we had agreed on a decision. I definitely don’t want to split up the band. I love playing in Concert Artists, making …

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Car Camping

I think proper camping is for losers. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sights of nature, building a fire and roasting marshmallow, fishing, looking up at the stars, away from the lights of the city. It’s magical. It’s tents, however, that I’m not a fan of. You couldn’t pay me to sleep on a …

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Hot Air-xpertise

When you think of Canberra, what springs to mind? Apparently, one of the most common answers is hot air balloons. Now that I’ve said it, you can’t unthink it, can you? You’re welcome. Enjoy forever associating Canberra with hot air balloons – hey, it beats politics, right? But balloons aren’t the only kind of hot …

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What Is Cold?

People in Melbourne are bad at winter. There, I said it. I realise that this statement will be somewhat controversial, given the pride that the locals seem to take in their capacity to withstand all weathers. Here’s the thing, though: you’re comparing yourselves to people in Sydney. Up there they have have one of the …

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