What Is Cold?

People in Melbourne are bad at winter. There, I said it. I realise that this statement will be somewhat controversial, given the pride that the locals seem to take in their capacity to withstand all weathers. Here’s the thing, though: you’re comparing yourselves to people in Sydney. Up there they have have one of the world’s most temperate climates. Sure, Melbourne’s a few degrees colder… big whoop. I hope you realise that the Tasmanian folk are having a laugh behind your back.

Meanwhile, spare a thought for those of us up here in northern Europe. I’m currently in North Karelia conducting biology research on reindeer populations, and let me tell you: Melbourne is not cold. At least, it’s not as cold as you think it is. If it was, everyone would be totally screwed, because they’re going around in sneakers and without thermal long-johns. And if people were going around in those things, they could dramatically cut their heater usage. 

Keep that in mind next time you have to book a heating unit service. Melbourne region homes are generally perfectly adequate for keeping warmth in, especially if they have decent insulation and curtains and so on. Even so, Melbourne locals insist on cranking their heaters at every opportunity, lest they find themselves feeling a tad less than perfectly comfortable for a short while. This is precisely what I’m talking about: it’s not being good at winter. It’s being reliant on heaters.

Think of how much money you currently spend on central heating repairs and maintenance. Melbourne winters are expensive, yes? And it’s all down to gas and power bills, yes? Well, that doesn’t need to be the case. All you need to do is spend some time somewhere colder than Melbourne, and ideally colder than anywhere in Australia – try New Zealand. That’ll give you some perspective, and you’ll start to see what being smart about winter really looks like. 

End rant.