So Much Hair

Right now I’m checking the list of people going to start our new lunar kingdom on the moon, and I’m a little bit worried that it’s too many. Not too many for the space craft…I don’t know anything about that side of things. I assume someone is taking care of all the logistics.

No, what I mean is that there’s so much hair to cut, and I don’t think I can do it alone. Perhaps I shall have to train an apprentice? I know for a fact that I was hand-picked from a top South Melbourne hairdressing salon for my amazing skills in hairdressing. I didn’t believe in the cause at first, but after six months in a dark room with nothing but a thirty-second loop of the cult’s mission statement projected on the wall, along with the Lunar Manifesto being played on repeat over the speaker, I soon came around to the cult’s way of thinking. How could I have not seen the light before? The light of the moon, that is.

Anyway, I’ve been doing some calculations on hairdressing. If I cut hair at a rate of two people every hour, then factor in all the styling and the time I’ll have to spend developing new lunar hairstyles, I just don’t think there’s enough time in the week to get through everyone. Developing a new hairstyle isn’t just something that can be done overnight, you know. It can take weeks or months. With the standards of our perfect Lunar Kingdom, it could be years! That’s just too much hairdressing for one person, especially if it means I don’t get any breaks.

So, I’ll have to get an assistant, maybe someone on the list with a steady hand. The hair salons based in Melbourne don’t get by with only a single person…they have top-notch teams. And if we’re going to do things better than on Earth, then we’ll need more than just little old me.