No More Windows

Alright, so the windows are gone. I knew some windows might get BROKEN, but I didn’t think they’d just be gone entirely. The snack cupboard is empty, obviously, and I don’t even want to go near the bathroom because something doesn’t smell right, plus I think someone might have thrown the TV in the pool. All party things. But I’m wandering around and viewing the carnage, and a few of these windows are just missing. Who comes to a party and takes windows?

I bet this is some viral video trend where you take a pane of glass and…do something with it. Slide down a hill like it’s a toboggan, maybe. That’s all I can think of without it being incredibly, horribly dangerous, but there were a lot of excited people here. Not, mind you, residential glaziers. Melbourne has a serious party culture, sure, but I didn’t invite anyone wild to my party. Crazy guests managed to take out panes of glass without breaking them and apparently managed to get themselves away over the fence into the night. Very puzzling indeed. Did they have tools with them? Was there a team of people that were needed to accomplish this wicked feat? Almost impressive, is what I’d be saying if I wasn’t slightly cold at how the windows are missing. Really hoping the weather heats up soon, although I’ll get the glazier in before then to get some replacements. Or, possibly, people can return the windows they stole as some sort of prank, preferably in good condition and not having been used as something to slide upon in an attempt to gain viral fame.

They’re probably out there right now, sliding down a hill and really playing it up for the cameras. Personally, I’d appreciate it if they came back and apologised for swiping my lovely glass stair balustrading out of its holdings and vanishing into the night. People sure do the weirdest things at a wild house party.